vanity

the first thing that you will notice on this website, second only to the sensational web coding and dirty looking background, is the inclusion of a photograph of me and my rather prominent proboscis. what i hope that you don't notice is my similarly prominent fivehead, which while awkward and a waste of space, i honestly believe will come in handy one day. actually, you won't notice it at all because i have strategically omitted that body part. you can take this piece of information in several ways:

(1) that my self-esteem is approximately ankle height,
(2) my forehead is a secret government location to base aircraft,
(3) that i censor the fuck out of myself, but will try to have a good time while doing it on the internet because limiting my embarrassment and awkward conversations to real life is, like, so selfish.